


Once Upon a Night

by YaminoTenshi202



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Dreams and Nightmares, Dysphoria, Goku Black (freeform), Identity Issues, Jealous! Goku, Love Confessions, M/M, Sleepy Cuddles, kakavege week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-27 18:31:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8412001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YaminoTenshi202/pseuds/YaminoTenshi202
Summary: They both had secrets. They both had fears. It wasn't something they had to work on alone. Vegeta smiled down at Kakarotto. Kakarotto smiled up at him. No, they didn't have to be alone anymore.





	1. Biggest Fear

**Author's Note:**

> This will be one continuous story throughout KakaVege Week October 30 to November 5, using prompts for each chapter to build a cohesive narrative. Takes place in our universe 7 but in alignment with the universe I created in "The Gospel of the Fallen King".

Vegeta waited until the lights were off inside the room in the little house. He watched the shadow inside move, the familiar body flowing and dancing in the room; that was the fluidity with which that person moved. He closed his eyes for a moment, remembering the feeling of that person, that person who had had such a simple request that he would indulge to have that feeling again, that ghost that he had stolen when they had sparred a week ago.

* * *

 

Kakarotto was washing in a river afterwards, and Vegeta had had the strange wanting to stay to do the same. He kept his ki low, as Kakarotto always did after their spars; he walked quietly over sticks and stones until he arrived, the other's ki washing over him with exuberance. He found himself smiling despite his best efforts to not be affected, but this was what happened when he was hiding; his emotions seeped out, solitude a sieve that let little things fall out from him.

He wouldn't deny that Kakarotto was an attractive male, and he wouldn't deny that he had had fantasies about touching the other before, wanting to stroke his hands over flesh that would feel like his own, paler than their moons - though their training on Beerus' planet had darkened his skin somewhat with the little stars all about them. As he saw the other disrobe, his senses heightened, awake with the instinct to bond with another of his own kind and to wash away the loneliness that stained his blood. Legs were exposed, defined muscles creating a map that he found himself travelling in his mind. The top of the dougi fell to the ground, elegant scars, some made by Vegeta's own hands and claws, marked the younger male as a byproduct of battle and the shameless kindness he held.

When the younger male let his boxers fall, Vegeta let out a breath that had been stting in his lungs for an undetermined time. It was replaced by frigid air that excited and burned his body. The remnants of the other's tail told no story that he was familiar with; it did make him wonder if the loss of a tail was truly permanent when a Saiyan reached adulthood. He wondered if it had been shortly before they had met.

Kakarotto slipped into the river, his body shuddering as the cold water crawled over his body, enveloping him. He took a breath, held it, and sunk under the surface. Vegeta waited silently for his cohort to rise above the water again, but it seemed to take too long.

Vegeta had never held his own breath this long before.

He took a few steps forward, and his ki began to slip of his tight control. The moment it did, Kakarotto came up and turned to Vegeta, eyes fearful. It was something that Vegeta had never seen on its own, that emotion that told him that Kakarotto was at his most vulnerable. Even when he had crushed Kakarotto under his foot, that expression had not been there, but it was quickly hidden away.

"Don't look."

Vegeta blinked at him. "Why?"

"... I'm not like you."

Vegeta gazed - without permission but how long had he been doing so before this? - over Kakarotto and noted only the beauty that he had noted before; the example of the ideal Saiyan stood in front of him and he was expected, almost ordered, not to look?

"What do you mean? You're Saiyan-"

"No, I'm not..." Kakarotto wouldn't look at him, denied him one beauty that Vegeta had not yet enjoyed, the beauty of his gaze unhindered by the excitement to fight or the lie of obliviousness that he held with their comrades. "I'm not human and I'm not Saiyan."

"Kakarotto. You are Saiyan, the last one like me."

"But I'm not..." Kakarotto's eyes finally lifted up to look at Vegeta, and Vegeta saw the first raw emotion that he had ever witnessed on the younger male's face.

There was despair.

"How are you not?"

"You're..." Kakarotto looked lost for words. The despair stayed in his eyes, but something else was there, something brighter, hopeful. "You're strong and handsome, Vegeta. You know who you are and you're proud of it... I don't know what I am, but I'm not like you, Vegeta. I've... never been proud of just me. The others look at me like I'm a monster. If I wasn't here..."

Kakarotto looked down at himself. There was a trace scent that Vegeta picked up: offense. Kakarotto was offended by what his body was; it was that of a Saiyan, similar enough to a human, but that tail scar marked him as an alien. He was stronger than a human, stronger than Vegeta, making him offensive to everything he interacted. If he had never been born, Kakarotto might have thought, nothing bad would have ever happened to this planet.

"Are you... happy at all, Kakarotto? When are you happy?"

"When I'm with you, Vegeta." Kakarotto finally smiled. It was exquisite, to see an honest smile. "I felt that way with Chi-Chi, but it's different with you."

Vegeta came closer, kneeling down. Kakarotto went a bit further under the water, covering his shoulders as if trying to hide but unwilling to while Vegeta was close by.

"Why won't you let me see you?"

"I'm not as pretty as you, Vegeta." Kakarotto was staring at him. There was a scent that Kakarotto was letting off, and Vegeta realized that its true strength was being washed away by the stream. He didn't fully get to appreciate its level of communication, but it wasn't as if he could just pull Kakarotto out of the water.

"Hardly," he spoke, beginning to take off his gloves and boots. Kakarotto blinked up at him, his eyebrows scrunching in confusion.

"What are you do- Eh?" Vegeta heard Kakarotto cut himself off as his armor fell to the floor and Vegeta was as naked as the Saiyan that hid in the water.

Vegeta felt exposed, a nerve with its ends vulnerable and excitable. His body regained its instincts from long ago, from a race that lived under the Sun and Moons, the stars their watchmen. Kakarotto stared up at him, and Vegeta scented the ever-telling smell of lust. He almost laughed at the idea that the world's hero, its naive and innocent savior from the stars, was attracted to him, but it was held back by the scents of anxiety, despair, and joy. How did his young cohort feel all of this at once? How did he not explode from the ferocity of them, as the river had been washing everything away before and now the scents were flooding his senses?

"I'll join you." Kakarotto made to dash into the deeper part of the river, but Vegeta caught his wrist. Vegeta slipped into the river fully and held that wrist in his hand, his fingers could feel the pulse going fast, like the wings of the hummingbirds that Bulma kept in his first floor greenhouse. "Are you frightened?"

"Stop it. Let me go!"

Kakarotto pulled away forcefully, but it was none of his true strength; his ki was escaping even faster than when they had first learned the technique, ignorance and arrogant. Vegeta kept his hold firm, his fingertips gentle against the marble flesh. He pulled the other closer and he was rather surprised at the lack of resistance.

"Kakarotto, it's different between us, isn't it?"

"..."

"We were enemies once, but we are comrades now. We are fathers, husbands, and friends, are we not?"

"..."

"It wouldn't be hard to be more."

Kakarotto's breathing hitched in his throat. Vegeta waited for any response, any sign that the younger Saiyan was processing what he was saying.

"You have Bulma."

"I told you, we'll be adults when we turn 80. We still have a long time after that; she knows that I might find someone else."

"While she's alive?"

"What have we to lose? Our comrades will die before us, our offspring too. Might as well see if we can be stuck together for decades."

Kakarotto turned his head, looking over his own shoulder to see Vegeta, look at him and observe what was there. Could Kakarotto feel the lust from him, the eagerness to chase him?

"I'm not like you."

"I know. I... desire you because you're not me."

"I'm not pretty or handsome like you... I'm not smart... I'm not human or Saiyan enough; I'm annoying to you; I ruin what I touch. I'm not anything you'd want!" Kakarotto closed his eyes, trying to pull away again, but Vegeta wouldn't let that hand go. The other hand came to bury itself in Kakarotto's hair, clenching into a frightening fist. "I'm dreaming! I'm dreaming!"

"Why are you so sure that you're dreaming?!"

"Because you're never this nice! You're not like this to me!" Kakarotto's voice was cutting in the night air, the only accompanying noise of crickets silenced. "Because if you're like this, then I'm dreaming, and I'll wake up and it'll all be over! You won't be here!"

Vegeta growled, pulling the other Saiyan towards him, their chests touching. Vegeta pulled himself to reality fully before he lost himself in the wonder of the other's skin, but Kakarotto quieted and shook, the sensation overwhelming him; the mixture of scents on him grew more powerful by the second.

"I'm here, Kakarotto," he whispered, the words weaving a spell greater than any magician or wizard they'd even encountered. Kakarotto continued to tremble, but he let Vegeta place a hand under the water and touch that ever tempting tail remnant, the sensation making the younger Saiyan groan. "You've never thought of doing that, have you?"

"N-no."

"Then you know it's not a dream. You wouldn't think of this-" Vegeta pulled that wrist again, anchoring Kakarotto to the spot and leaning up to lick the neck that he had dreamed of biting into so many times, wanting that to be his. "- or that."

Kakarotto let out a hiccough and he brought a hand up to Vegeta's shoulder. The hand was careful, light, as if any wrong move would make Vegeta disappear.

So this was how Kakarotto tortured himself, striving to beat his hands into Vegeta's body because it was the one way to know that Vegeta was real and not a dream. Those hands - now that the second was released in favor of Vegeta seeking somewhere more  _pleasurable_ to touch - gripped the Prince's shoulders, those lips whispering his name like it was a forbidden word. It would be; their wives were at home, waiting for them to come back and welcome them with kisses or whatever they felt like. This wasn't part of a Saiyan's life, though; it was battle and companionship, because they were warriors that could die any day. It'd be better to have the partner, the mate, be next to them on the day of battle, so that they may fade away into oblivion with them.

Vegeta touched, prodded, tugged, and Kakarotto eventually leaned against him, his legs not supporting his weight.

"Ve... geta..!"

"Do you want me?"

"Yes... Ha, Vegeta! I lo..."

He had heard Bulma say it a few times, but there was an anticipation in his chest as he heard his friend, his goal in life, say the beginning of it.

"Go ahead, Kakarotto. I won't disappear." He wanted to thrust into the body that was lax against his. He wanted to pound into that willing body that he wasn't a dream, but it may be that this was all that the younger was ready for. He could wait; he found himself wanting to.

"I love you... Vegeta."

"I know." Vegeta pressed his lips against Kakarotto's, using his tongue to ease away the harsh teeth that were drawing blood from a swollen bottom lip. It wasn't a kiss, it was an imprint; it was a label that would forever keep Kakarotto as his, just as those moans would never be heard by another Saiyan. The moon as their witness and god, there was nothing that would keep the Prince away from his prize, his prize on a planet that he had thought worthless. Kakarotto couldn't breathe, lost in the older Saiyan's name and pleads and "God, please..." Water was splashing around them with the force of Vegeta's hand motions, and Vegeta realized that this was the effect that he had on Kakarotto, the one who had changed his life; he was a force in Kakarotto's life, and this was the proof!

"Can't..."

"Let go, Kakarotto..."

"Don't... wanna dream... Scared."

"I'll make sure you don't have any dreams... Kakarotto!" His free hand pressed its fingertips into the younger Saiyan's tail remnant, digging into the bottom of it where the nerves would have never healed and the pleasure of a mating would have always been affected on a normal tail. Kakarotto let out a shout of lust, despair, and "Vegeta!"

Vegeta held that warm body, the body of his prize and grew more and more relaxed, breathing eventually settling down into shallow, easy breathing. He brought Kakarotto to the shore of the riverbed, laying him flat and admiring the gradual softening of the other's cock before turning to sit next to Kakarotto and trying to reach his own completion, his voice unrestrained. He said the younger male's name, his ki fluctuating with his want. He imagine Kakarotto moaning beneath him, only saying his name before the syllables dissolved into desperate, breathless pleas for euphoria.

As he spilled over his fingers, pulsing into his own hand, Vegeta felt a hand on his hip. His body hypersensitive, Vegeta turned and saw Kakarotto staring up at him.

"... Kakarotto?"

"You're not a dream."

Vegeta let out a small laugh, tiredness sweeping over him as his body relaxed. He lay down on the sand, not arguing as Kakarotto crawled to be over him. Those eyes were scrutinizing him, looking for details out of place. Had Kakarotto memorized what he looked like?

"I'm not a dream."

The rebuttal to his answer was a kiss to the lips, and then Kakarotto fell into his embrace, sobbing into the body that had been the only one to feel right against his and that felt real.

* * *

 

Vegeta blinked.

The lights were off in the house, and there was no moon tonight; there was nothing telling Vegeta to fly towards the window, but he hurried to it, setting his gloves on the window shutters.

The windows of the Son household's only guest room opened. There stood Kakarotto, smiling under the dark starry sky.

"Everyone's asleep. Come in, Vegeta."

They had had a dreamless sleep, one that Vegeta thanked the gods for that night on the riverbank. As they laid down to sleep together, something they had begun last week and had been doing every week since, Vegeta thought about what this relationship was.

Maybe it was to be forever. Maybe it was to be temporary; they hadn't yet consummated their relationship. Maybe it was a love misplaced; their wives would be able to attest to that if they ever knew. Would they be accepted or made pariahs? Would they find out things that they would never have wanted to know?

They both had secrets. They both had fears. It wasn't something they had to work on alone. Vegeta smiled down at Kakarotto. Kakarotto smiled up at him. No, they didn't have to be alone anymore.

"I'm not dreaming, right, Vegeta?"

No, not anymore.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Biggest Fear: Oneirophobia - Fear of Dreams
> 
> I like Goku as a happy character, but when he realizes that his choices and actions have consequences, he sets to resolve these quickly and he learns from it.
> 
> I'm going to have long character analyses of these interpretations on my tumblr, probably.
> 
> (The hint to the end is in the title.)


	2. Black Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompts Day 2: Goku Black and Super Saiyan Four  
> ((Warnings: Intense dysphoria, some cherophobia (aversion to happiness, commonly due to the belief that a negative event will soon occur that will taint their happiness, as penance for their joy), and Goku Black as the punisher), a lot of introspection, gooey-lovely affection)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally figured out the timeline and world. Takes place in our universe 7 but in alignment with the universe I created in "The Gospel of the Fallen King". Prepare for dysphoria.

He had to think about it. To think of the reality of the moment; the dream-like light of the dawn made the scene more surreal, but the feel of the other's flesh against him woke something inside of him, something that told him that the moment was real. Goku pressed his lips to Vegeta's cheek, inhaling the scent of one who had lived and breathed war from the moment that he took the title of Prince to heart.

Goku had no such pride in himself; he enjoyed his strength, but he always wanted to fight someone stronger. That was one reason that he had enjoyed his initial fight with Vegeta... and every fight after. He smiled against a bruise that Vegeta had allowed him to create, a bruise blossoming into a black-purple rose on his left shoulder. He wondered what else Vegeta would let him do, would enjoy Goku doing, and he found himself growing hard, cock straining against his underwear. He moved away from Vegeta, resisting the urge to touch him. Something ran in his blood whenever he saw Vegeta like this, something that made him want to hold Vegeta down and just take what he wanted; but he never wanted to do that to Vegeta.

He shook his head to shoo away the thoughts that plagued him; sometimes it frightened him more than when he dreamed of things. The unreality of those things - his feelings and his dreams - were unsettling. He supposed that when he was little, they had never bothered him. However, one day, he woke up and his grandfather wasn't there. He ran outside to look for him, and he found the man that had found him and raised him... Gohan's skull and rib-cage were crushed by the monster that he had been warned so often about.

'It's ironic that it was me.'

After burying him, Goku spent the day trying to put himself together, trying to think about his grandfather and all that he had learned from him. The night was more frightening, as he saw his grandfather, the man always turning into the corpse that he had found in the woods. After that, it was like every time he made a new friend, he saw them dead at night.

When he met Vegeta, he had dreams of being able to touch something wonderful, taste something exotic… When he was in the hospital, Vegeta had come to see him, touch him and make him feel so good.

Awaking in a body cast to an empty room with machines that he was unfamiliar with was a nightmare. He was haunted those nightmares, those beautiful dreams where he could touch what he could, to taste Vegeta and make certain that he was real. He was denied that years later when the other despised him, and when Vegeta became a slave to Bobbidi to fight him.

Or was he flirting? Goku smiled at the thought. Seeing Vegeta angry, fighting, claiming… And it was something he fantasized about often, that anger, hunger, and desire directed towards the desire to be with him.

And it’d disappear in the morning.

_“An appetizer…”_ Goku closed his eyes against the thoughts in his mind. Those thoughts that told him that he was this dark entity that wasn’t meant to have his chosen happiness. _“You’ll never have the meal; you’re not a human or a Saiyan. Mortals are sinners, abominations, and you’re not deemed worthy enough for that paradise that Saiyan warriors are meant for.”_

“Leave me alone,” he whispered. He had the urge to run outside. The full moon was still high in the sky. The voice did not disappear, even though they had destroyed the original master of that voice; it haunted him.

_“Why don’t you just abandon that shell of mortality, you lowly god? Become that Saiyan Deity that is the embodiment of those Saiyan virtues!”_

“And what are those?”

_“Death, destruction, power – everything that I fought for. Cleanse the world to create the paradise for you and your chosen lover, not the woman that you grew to love and certainly the friend that showed you the beauty of the world that would sooner hate you than love what you are.”_

Goku pressed another kiss to Vegeta’s forehead before leaving through the windows that he had opened one night, inviting temptation and happiness inside. He couldn’t have it anyway, not before he found out what he was missing.

_“What kind of God are you, if you can’t rise above those organic needs? Your love isn’t a blessed one. It’s that child’s prayer for a happy ending without consequence.”_ That demon inside of him, that pink flame that burned kissed his skin and was making itself physical, a scar forever on his skin.

‘Vegeta?’

_“That opening course isn’t here, you filthy creature. Your love, broken and twisted, can’t save you from what a monster you were meant to be. It’s that hopeless desire that keeps you up at night, makes you have the nightmares you rightfully earned.”_

‘Vegeta?! Why aren’t you here? I’m having a dream, right?!’

He fell into the trees, the branches harming him further but the pain was nothing compared to the terror of this nightmare, born in his blood and giving birth to the nightmare that was Goku Black, the being that he gave birth to out of his own desire.

He looked down at himself, pink flames everywhere.

‘Vegeta!’

He cried to the full moon, crying for his love, the origin of that fear and the happiness that he had now.

_“You don’t have anything, creature… Mortal… You have earned nothing but the pain that you deliver to the villains you destroy, the ones that you give birth to.”_

“Vegeta!”

‘No! It’s not true! It’s not! I can be happy! I won’t be scared of my dreams anymore! I want Vegeta to be happy with me, to be proud of me, to love me! I won’t give in to you, Black!’

Pink flames grew over him, and he found that “something”-s in his heart that lived in his blood: defiance and want.

* * *

Vegeta awoke alone, the dawn not yet born. He wondered where his lover had gone to, but his body shook with the terror felt by prey; there was a powerful ki in the air, one that he was familiar and so close by, one he knew intimately. He kept his ki hidden by godly might, dressed, and hurried towards it. It was somewhere in the forests by East City, from what he remembered from the cartography that Bulma had him memorize.

The night had nothing to distract him, save for the full moon. It made him anxious, needing stimulation to distract him.

“Kakarotto, what’s wrong?” The other’s ki was fiery, angry, and dangerous. It was so high! It felt different than that of a god; this felt like the devil himself. Or did he just say that because it was something he didn’t understand?

Pink, dark and almost the color of blood, flooded his vision. Vegeta inhaled in shock and recognized the scent.

Kakarotto had beautiful fur on his body, and a tail - of all things – let out a scent that Vegeta had only dreamt of, one of a true monarch, that held dominance and strength. That mouth claimed his and they fell into the earth, destroying the nature around him and making something of a nest for themselves. Amid it all, Vegeta spoke.

“You will… hnn... Tell me how you did this!”

“Sure…” That voice was different, a strange sort of confidence in it that it exerted a force to defy the stars. It wanted Vegeta in its entirety. Vegeta relished in that fact.

“You look beautiful.”

Kakarotto smiled down at him. “What’d I do to deserve you, Vegeta?”

Vegeta thought of everything they’d been through. They were enemies, they were rivals, they were each other’s goal in strength and battle. They were each other’s foils and the people most opposite in temperament; how wonderful was it that they enjoyed battle. It had once been that they could not stand each other, save for their obsession with the other that took over their thoughts when the idea of fighting presented itself.

This would have never happened on the planet where they had been born, for among the stars Kakarotto would have died without that kindness in his heart and Vegeta would have died as a slave of Freezer’s whims, a pet for a ruler that enjoyed playing with lives without care for their weight. Yes, their deaths would have separated them, separated them from the lives that they had seemed destined to live.

What did they do to deserve each other?

“You’re alive; that’s what you’ve done.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Goku's dealing with the fact that he's committing adultery and his dysphoria is kicking in with the memories of Goku Black. In my story, Gospel of the Fallen King, Black is not only Zamasu and the driving forces in him are indeed love and hatred.
> 
> Super Saiyan 4 blew my mind when I was in middle school. It seemed that its driving force was defiance. 1 was anger, 2 was perseverance, 3 was acceptance of reality (Goku achieved the power after his death was fully accepted and Gotenks achieved it after accepting their position as the new warriors of the generation... before the story changed its course).


	3. Let Me Cheer You Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt Day 3: Let Me Cheer You Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short, but it seemed appropriate.

Vegeta pressed himself against Kakarotto, arms around him in the best manner that he thought possible. It wasn’t like he knew what to do, but how Kakarotto was quivering and how his breath was shuddering and shallow, it was the best he could do.

Kakarotto had had a dream, and his mate’s dreams were always nightmares for him. Kakarotto was sobbing into his chest, his body tight around Vegeta. Vegeta sighed and raised a hand, not knowing to where to put it. He settled for putting it on Kakarotto’s back, disconcerted by the feeling of shaking ribs against his palm.

The dream had been of a place that Kakarotto was unfamiliar with, with people that he couldn’t recognize. It felt safe and smelt nice, but there was the scent of blood in the air later, and he was suddenly somewhere cold with people he didn’t know. There was no safety in this new place, only harsh hands that spoke empty nothings that were meant to comfort him; that’s what they sounded like.

He described being placed into this soft place and given something to drink that made him very sleepy. A loud noise had awoken him for a second and he was blinded by a bright light.

Gohan’s kind face, wrinkled due to age, greeted him.

Vegeta often wondered how much of Kakarotto’s short time on Planet Vegeta was hidden in the back of his mind. He remembered what his own father looked like and his own planet’s scent; he had only been five years old the last time that he had seen them. Kakarotto must have remembered something, even the scent of his birth-mother’s milk…

Raditz had remembered the infant after seeing him only once; that might have been what Kakarotto remembered, the little family from a third-class area that welcomed this weak infant into the universe.

Did he remember that they would have cared for him in their own way? Was that dream so terrifying?

For Kakarotto, that the world would be so kind to him and his own dreams might take that way, it was the worst thing in the world. It had been Vegeta’s fault, then, that he introduced him to the horrors of what their species was, what they lived for.

“Kakarotto…”

“…” There was no verbal answer, but Kakarotto did nod his head to show that he was listening.

“I’m so sorry…”

Kakarotto tried to lift his head to look up at his lover, but Vegeta moved his hand from the younger Saiyan’s back and moved it to the top of Kakarotto’s head, keeping him still. Still, Kakarotto stayed, and Vegeta felt his heart hurt at the realization that Kakarotto trusted him so much to let someone weaker than him hold him in place.

“… I wish that you could be happy when you dream, that you could dream of me and not be terrified that it may not be real.”

Kakarotto stopped shaking, holding onto Vegeta even more tightly. The younger’s breathing became more easy and the tears seemed to stop, as the warm drops of salty tears became less frequent and his chest began to cool itself with the soft breathing against his skin.

“I’m not a dream. I swear I’m not.”

Vegeta watched as a hand seized his own wrist, pulling it away. Kakarotto raised his head and gazed up at Vegeta with a contemplative expression on his face. He looked for something on Vegeta’s face and it seemed like he had found it because a smile, small and newborn, bloomed on those precious lips.

Kakarotto kissed the bottom of Vegeta’s jaw, sending a shiver through Vegeta’s body. Bulma had never been this affectionate, not this gently. When he had died trying to kill Buu, she had kissed him desperately, ascertaining that he was indeed alive and in her grasp, greedy. Kakarotto acted with that desperate feeling at times, but it was when he was lost in lust and wanting to make Vegeta feel as wonderful as was within his power.

Kakarotto was kissing him too gently, like he was trying to make sure that Vegeta was here but not enough that he burst the bubble of this reality that he was making certain of; and why wouldn’t he? When was Vegeta ever so kind to his eternal rival, the man that had caused him such pain in his heart that he had sided with the devil, just to gain his attention?

“Vegeta… Mine…”

“Yes, I’m yours… and you’re mine.”

Kakarotto pushed himself up and pressed his lips to Vegeta’s, that smile maturing and becoming truly joyous.

“You’re mine, Vegeta…”

Vegeta returned that with a smile. Kakarotto kept on kissing him but with more certainty than before. He found himself growing hard and resisted the urge to rut against his lover; he was trying to make Kakarotto happy, not the other way around.

“Thanks, Vegeta…”

Kakarotto looked down at him and that smile that started off so innocent was something twisted, hungry, and so beautiful.

“For what?”

“For cheering me up.”

* * *

That night, Kakarotto found himself dreaming again, and for the first time, he wasn’t terrified.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vegeta's accepting this aversion to dreams and happiness. It's a struggle, but it's helping Goku recover, growing through the chapter.
> 
> Should this story have a happy ending or a sad ending? Let me know please.


	4. Shiito

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt Day 4: Green-eyed monster/Jealousy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter: Sexy Goku

They were in the field outside of Goku’s home when Bulma came.

“Vegeta! Come on; let’s go home! You can fight with Son-kun later!”

Goku stared after his lover and his first friend, wondering for a moment, as they left, why he had felt such anger in his chest. Bulma was coming for her husband; that was something that he understood and had accepted the moment that Vegeta had held him so tightly and assured him that he cared for him through blood and instinct, love and rivalry. He had thought that he understood.

Bulma was grabbing at Vegeta’s arm, bubbly laughter spilling out of her like a fertile fountain, overflowing happiness and love.

Chi-Chi once looked at him like that, but it didn’t measure up to the love and care that Vegeta treated him with. A male that could destroy planets made sure that the dark was kept at bay, even when the Prince himself had bad dreams; they weren’t as severe as Goku’s but they were enough that Goku could cuddle him and kiss him to make the rigidity of his tense body fade into a dreamless sleep, as Vegeta had told him once. Goku knew that this was different.

This was something like a fire in his body, like the first time that he had ever transformed into a Super Saiyan; it made him mindless, his love for Vegeta, and he wanted the world to know that this Prince, this God, was his only, to the point where he wanted to kill the people that would throw insults at his love, hurt them so that they knew that he would protect this person above all else, save his family. Hell, it made his trips on Kinto-Un interesting, as when he delved into these kinds of thoughts, he would sink slightly, the fluffy cloud no longer solid beneath him and threatening to drop him should he truly decide to sin.

Why was it a sin, though?

Why couldn’t he love who he wanted?

Goku bit his lip and flew back to his home, where he knew that he’d stay in the guest room tonight; the dreams would definitely come.

Why was he born for the sake of unhappiness?

* * *

Goku had a happy dream; this had never happened, but this time, he knew it was a dream and it only made him excited for when he would awaken. They were together and happy and love, love, love, I want you to be happy and mating and everything feels so nice that I don’t want it to end.

But when he woke up, it ended, and Goku found himself smiling as he walked into his guest bathroom, because he only slept in the guest bedroom now, and he stroked himself to completion, something he had rarely done when he was younger, but he found himself doing it more now that Vegeta had already touched him there. He stuffed a dougi sash into his mouth and let out soft, muffled moans that sounded like Vegeta’s name, one hand supporting him against the bathroom counter and the other stroking and pulling his cock, the sensation a mockery of Vegeta’s wonderful, pretty hand, but Goku’s mind was painting a very vivid mockery, almost perfect mimicry.

He wanted Vegeta to do all the strange things from the dream to him, and it was the first day that Goku looked forward to his dreams that night.

* * *

“Isn’t it nice that Bulma and Vegeta went on a date together?” Chi-Chi had prepared something hardy and filling with the ingredients that Bulma had brought her from Yaahoi. “It’s good that they spend time together like this, especially since they’re raising Trunks-chan.”

Goku avoided her eyes, her hopeful and wishing eyes. Dinner sat in his belly like a rock, and the more it left him without the wonderful flavors that Chi-Chi’s food normally left him with, he found his stomach churning, thoughts from earlier rattling in his brain.

“Goku-sa?”

“I’m okay, Chi-Chi…”

He looked to his wife who turned, with a concerned frown, back to the dishes, having finished her own serving. Goten was already done eating and had run back upstairs to do his homework. They were studying sciences now, learning how things moved and something about gravity, something Goku understood.

Goten described it as two things attracting each other, and Goku bit his tongue into submission, compelling it to only taste the cooked pork from the well-made stew his wife made and to say little ignorant things that didn’t make him think of V-

Why was it that planets could attract each other and their objects on them, but why couldn’t he love Vegeta?

Why was the universe fine with its attractions, but his was bad?

Something soft came against his forehead, and Goku caught the sound that threatened to come out of him in shock. That sensation wasn’t supposed to be soft, he thought as Chi-Chi pulled her lips away, watching him with concern. That touch was supposed to be rough and hungry and non-human, he claimed as he thanked his wife for the meal and told her that he was going to finish gathering his plow and equipment to put back in the storage shed. He was screaming silently, his ears ringing from the fear, as his wife place her delicate lips on his.

She would always have his love, but it would not be the one that she had pined for since she was twelve years old; she would have him as a husband, and she would have him when they were awake together, the sun the judging presence to their matrimony.

The moon was primal and it accepted Vegeta and Goku laying together, hungry and wanting in the wake of instincts that Goku had never experienced before being crushed in an oozaru’s grip; it loved them, despite their sin.

Gohan told him once that the moon’s light was the sun’s reflection.

Was he being judged by a more compassionate god?

Or was the moon just not powerful enough to pass judgement?

“… Will you be in the guest room again tonight, Goku-sa?”

“Yeah… Sorry, Chi-Chi.”

Chi-Chi smiled at him, and he wished for a moment that he would feel bad for not loving her, his sweet wife that fought tooth and nail for him in her own human way. She was the moon, not powerful enough to fight him, but enough to make his heart hurt.

* * *

A few days later, at sunset, he found Vegeta in the forest area of Mt. Paozu. Black eyes looked at him with concern, Goku smiling to make that look go away.

“Did you and Bulma have fun?”

Vegeta glared at him.

“What the Hell do you mean?”

Goku’s fist made contact with Vegeta’s cheek the moment the question was over. He wanted, wanted, wanted. Something sick inside of him relished in the crumbling of bone under his fist, the anticipation to see blood on Vegeta’s lips. Goku pressed his lips to Vegeta’s the moment that the other Saiyan began to rub his head and opened his eyes to rationalize what had just happened. He thought for a second to slow down, but never had he wanted something as much as in this moment, where he was only tied to the reality of his sin by the trace scent of his first friend on his lover. This is what it was for other people sinning, wasn’t it; it was something so enticing that not even good conscience could hold them back.

“Kaka-“

He didn’t want sound, re realized, putting a finger into Vegeta’s mouth and focusing on the feeling of the other’s tongue on his skin; it was feeling every groove there, almost as if memorizing his fingerprints and making certain that this was Goku’s finger and not B-

“Shut up… Shut up!”

Goku let the moon be his only witness as he brought his tongue to Vegeta’s neck, worshpping the veins, carotids, every part that would be so vulnerable under his fangs and give in under the pressure. This taste, this feeling was Vegeta, and the knowledge that Vegeta was actually staying quiet, was following what Goku said – save for the occasional moans and pants – was wonderful enough to burn his eyes.

One of his hands went to dance over the front of Vegeta’s groin, Vegeta groaning and sounding pleased at the attention. Goku hummed; it was hard, just like his would become, but it was covered by armor that Goku now found himself hating.

They’d never touched each other like this. Usually it was Vegeta touching him and rutting against him; Goku never got to lay his hands on the thing he had been dreaming about for the last few days. It had been months, and he still didn’t get to touch!

His vision was getting blurry, so he closed his eyes, and his mouth let out a noise like the ones that his infant son Gohan would let out before he would start crying. To defy this, he tried to grit his teeth but Vegeta’s throat was still there, and Vegeta let out a cry.

Goku, frightened, tried to pull away, but Vegeta held him tightly. He whispered urgencies, telling Goku to mark him. Goku didn’t move and succumbed to Vegeta’s control; he drank the blood that bubbled up in the smallest amount, suckled on the mark, and kissed it sweetly of his own free will once Vegeta began to pet his head like a good young lover. Goku didn’t move, his mouth against Vegeta’s pretty neck and his hand still wanting that prize under its fingertips.

“What… scared you, Kakarotto?”

“Bulma…”

“How?”

“Do you ever think of Bulma when you’re with me?”

Vegeta’s chest rumbled and roared as it always did when he laughed with mirth. “Never. You’re always on my mind.”

“…”

Vegeta grabbed the back of his head and pulled until their gazes met. “Are you doubting me, your Prince and lover and mate?”

Goku bit his lip. “I had a dream.”

“When was this?”

“A few nights ago. You were with Bulma.”

Vegeta sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Goku protested, keeping that strong gaze that Vegeta had forced him into. “It was a nice dream, and I wanted to tell you about it. I want to tell you everything that I dreamed of doing to you!”

Vegeta looked down at him, blinking with surprise before settling his face into pride and hunger and should Goku have said that differently?

“Don’t tell me, Kakarotto; do it.”

Goku let himself be moved to be straddling Vegeta, the older Saiyan underneath him. He looked at that body and saw that Vegeta’s face was getting pink in the cheeks, his eyes eager, and his lungs were heaving slightly; he was excited, and he smelt happy, lustful.

Goku found himself licking his lips, and that form that came to him when he was lost, the form they named Four, overtook him. His tail curled and relaxed behind him. The moon was bright and Goku thanked it for letting him see his Prince like this, needy as he removed that horrible armor and licked everywhere, eventually erasing Bulma’s scent and taste to mark Vegeta as his alone.

“Kakarotto!” One of Vegeta’s legs was restrained by Goku’s tail, held out so that Goku could take Vegeta’s cock into his mouth; it tasted different than in the dream, but different did not mean worse. His eyes were closed as he suckled on it, innocent in how to do it and carefully feeling out what Vegeta liked to feel.

“Mmm…” he hummed as something decorated his tongue; not an orgasm yet, but Vegeta’s cock had something coming from it, something strong that made Goku want more of it. As he sucked harshly on Vegeta, the Prince let out shouts and demands for Goku to keep going. Goku purred; Vegeta was only thinking of him.

“Hah… Vegeta?”

“Why the Hell did you stop?!” Vegeta growled at him, his leg still trapped by Goku’s tail. Goku smiled.

“I want to do the next part of my dream now.”

“Then get on with it!” Vegeta pulled Goku close and kissed that open mouth, pulling Goku’s tongue between his pliant lips and sucking harshly on the soft muscle. Goku felt himself get a bit dizzy; he had felt that mouth on his own penis once, and he felt himself finally hurting from how hard he was.

Pulling away from the kiss and pulling down his dougi, ripping the top because of its tightness, Goku felt himself become completely exposed, the moon a silent witness to his fur-covered body. Vegeta stared at him, expectantly.

Goku smiled, leaning forward to let his lips play against Vegeta’s ear.

“In my dream, you made love to me real nice. You bit me, and it was the best feeling ever. I forgot my name just like when you touched me the first time.” He heard Vegeta’s breathing pick up its pace again. He felt something inside of him grow playful.

“Are you going to lose to my dream, Vegeta?”

Vegeta did not speak, biting into his neck and hand rushing forward to hold tightly to Goku, the younger Saiyan crying out as he came without stimulation and felt euphoria wash over him. After a few moments, Goku realized that Vegeta wasn’t stopping, instead using the cum on Goku’s stomach to coat his own fingers.

“Ah..!” Goku felt pads of fingers ghost over his ass, settling on the opening there, and his tail moved out of the way to make easier the path of the fingers. Vegeta finally pulled from Goku’s neck, his fangs blood-stained; were Goku’s that way?

“You won’t be thinking of anything for a while, Kakarotto,” he whispered, Goku shivering at the threat as one finger gingerly made its way inside. Down to the knuckle and Goku’s cock was twitching, ready. As Vegeta’s finger began to move, Goku lay with some discomfort until lightning shot through him and coaxed his cock to harden again. “You’re going to forget your wife and Bulma, you understand?”

Goku tried to understand as Vegeta’s finger was pumping in and out of his ass; who were Chi-Chi and Bulma?

“You’re mine!”

Another finger went in and Goku spread his legs, lifting them to be on Vegeta’s shoulders. Anything for more of that wonderful feeling. His penis was throbbing now, leaking.

“Yours, yours, yours…”

Those fingers moved away and Goku let out a sob, wanting to move and be filled and-

“Oh, God, Vegeta!” Vegeta was inside of him and Goku felt that wave of pleasure drown him again, the waves coming non-stop as Vegeta piston-thrust into him, the ground beneath them giving way. Goku’s lost his voice, his tail abused by Vegeta’s hands as the sensitive appendage grew more so under the influence of lust and love. Soft caresses against blood-colored fur were as effective as thrusts and Goku couldn’t remember anything anymore.

Why was he so jealous in the first place, when Vegeta was marking him and making him feel so blessed that the Moon was pale in witness to their love?


	5. New and Secret Lives, Dreaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompts Day 5: Secret Relationship/ Dreams and Nightmares/ The Start of a New Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Not so Secret Secrets, Much abuse of word play with the prompts  
> *I don't bash on Chi-Chi or Bulma here.

Gohan knew his father’s schedule for most of the day. Gohan knew that his father would always spar with him and Goten. Then he’d go work in the garden and fields, bringing in what they had. The evening was spent sparring with Vegeta. In the early morning, though, he noticed that his father would awaken from the guest room, and he was always happy when he left the guest room. 

He and his mother weren’t as close anymore. They still cared for one another, but there was nothing like seeing his parents love each other like before. Goku had gotten more quiet, more submissive under the yelling of his mother, but something about sleeping in the guest room brought back that liveliness. For the last months, almost a year, that guest room had been Goku’s happiness.

Gohan cradled Pan in his arms, marveling as the girl pounded her hands together in the show of sign language that she was learning under Videl’s tutelage. They wanted her to be different from their family and friends, someone new and exciting for the world to enjoy and cherish, not just for her strength.

‘More!’

“Okay, Pan. Let’s have some more cereal!” Gohan raised the spoon and made little flying noises as the spoon zoomed to his daughter’s mouth. He wondered if his daughter would ever be so critical towards him as he was towards his own father.

He sighed, pushing the thought of his father away, of his father and the guest room.

* * *

Kuririn could feel the ki of Goku and Vegeta as they sparred in the mountains. He wondered often why they fought so often and why they fought so strongly. There would be times when they would disappear, though, most likely due to their god ki.

There were sometimes announcements on the news about strange changes in the atmosphere, electrical energy that altered reception of radio and television frequencies, and even alterations in landscapes.

He had called Bulma about it a few times, but she had no answers. She only said that Vegeta would leave sometimes at sunset and would be back before she woke up. He would say that he would spar with Goku, but surely that wasn’t the whole day.

He never wanted to tell her that Vegeta would disappear when fighting Goku, as if he had never left him.

* * *

Goku pressed his lips to Vegeta's cheek, inhaling the scent of one who had lived and breathed war from the moment that he took the title of Prince to heart.

There was a feeling that this had already happened, but Goku never focused on weird details like that. Especially when Vegeta was sleeping. The morning light was bright through the window…

Light? He never woke up this late.

“Goku… sa?”

That voice… That voice was never here when Vegeta was… He turned towards the voice and saw his wife, the woman that wasn’t so kind anymore but still cared for him in her own way. He didn’t move away from Vegeta, didn’t open his mouth to explain what had happened.

“Goku-sa, why are you and Vegeta… together in bed?”

She had tears in her eyes; she knew what had happened, as she and Goku had laid together like that before, after they had made love, naked and finding warmth together. It never happened the nights that he would dream, as he’d run away to the guest room. The guest room was his safe place, a nice little den where he could hide from reality and fantasy both.

And here Vegeta was, his long hated enemy was in his den, his safe place where he could hide from reality and his dreams.

“Chi-Chi…” He moved slowly and he thanked every god he knew about that he and Vegeta hadn’t done much last night. He still had his pajama trousers on, but the fact that he didn’t have a shirt on was telling.

“I knew… We’ve been havin’ a hard time, but I thought…” Chi-Chi placed her hand on her mouth, trying to hold her voice in before she got too loud. Goku thanked her silently for that. “I thought…”

As he stood up, he reached out to her, taking her hand that trembled in his. He guided her out of the room, wishing that the sun had never come up in the first place. For the first time, he never wanted to leave his dreams.

* * *

Vegeta woke up alone. What had occurred to lead to such a thing, he didn’t know. He had had Kakarotto at his side when he went to sleep, the first night after a night where the dreams hadn’t frightened Kakarotto so severely.

It was strange, actually; for the first time in months, he had had a nightmare. He had never woken, as causing such a ruckus on Freezer’s ship would have him punished as a child and he had since learned to repress it all; he’d silently suffered through his nightmare. He looked for his lover, looked for his ki, and he was surprised to learn that he was still in the Son home… talking to the ki of his wife.

‘What?’

Kakarotto was becoming irritated.

‘What happened when I was asleep?’

He was getting upset, and he could hear the woman that was Kakarotto’s wife; he could hear her crying.

In his nightmare, their dream-like world, this world where they could be together at night without terrible consequences raining down on them, came crashing down around them, burning in a flame of fury and sadness that surely resembled the one that destroyed their planet Vegeta. Where were they now in the universe?

But Kakarotto pulled away from him, ran back to his wife and children. Bulma would no longer have him, the vindictive witch that she was.

Where was he now?

He felt Kakarotto’s ki move, and he stayed still as the door to this guest room, their little room where they were mates and nothing else mattered, opened. Kakarotto stood there, giving him a small smile.

“Chi-Chi and Goten… They’ll move to the city. She’s been planning on saying for a while that it’d be better for Goten if we all move, but it’ll just be her and Goten now.”

Vegeta watched as Chi-Chi entered the room, gently side-stepping around Kakarotto to come close to Vegeta. He looked at her; this was the first time that she had ever dared to stand face-to-face with him.

“Vegeta, take good care o’ Goku-sa. If you love his as much as ah’ do, take good care of him.”

Vegeta nodded. “I will. Don’t worry for him.”

Chi-Chi looked away for a moment, nervous to keep eye contact. “What about Bulma?”

“… I’ll tell her in time.”

Chi-Chi nodded, a smile blooming on her face. She turned to Kakarotto and stood still, assessing what their lives apart were now. He knew they had been together since their youth, had only been with each other, and even in death, they had been faithful; what was it like to lose someone so integral to your existence in that way?

He watched as they hugged each other, Chi-Chi saying that they’d explain to Goten soon, and Kakarotto asking if she needed help packing, since she had already picked out a place.

Something told him that telling Bulma wouldn’t be this simple and clean. He mulled over what to tell his son, what to say to explain his behavior-

“Vegeta? Are you hungry?”

Kakarotto was looking at him with concern, concern veiled cleverly behind a simple question. He felt a smile emerge on his lips.

“Always. Make me anything.”

Kakarotto smiled.

“You’re lucky that Chi-Chi made a copy of recipes for me a few months ago. I had her teach me some.”

Vegeta found himself grateful that this was what he woke up to, the sun brightly shining as he threw away their fragile dream world.

* * *

Piccolo looked down upon the mountain area when Goku and Vegeta were training. They were moving differently than normal. Their holds lingered for a second longer, their voices were more than playful, and when Vegeta managed to get Goku flat on his back, he held down the other Saiyan’s arms in a different way, as if knowing that Goku could get away at anytime and being fine with it.

‘Why isn’t Goku getting up?’

“Come on, Vegeta. Let’s have fun!”

‘That doesn’t look like fun,’ Piccolo mused, watching as Vegeta leaned down and bit the younger Saiyan’s neck. Goku let out a sound that Piccolo had once heard by accident when he had gone to visit Gohan; Videl had yelled at Gohan and Piccolo both for that, her face pink and her body wrapped in only a blanket.

Months later, Pan had been born.

This wasn’t for reproduction, though; Goku had his legs wrapped around Vegeta’s waist, saying his name with such passion that Piccolo wondered how he could be feeling like this outside of a fight. Vegeta himself was saying Goku’s Saiyan name the same way.

There’d be no child from this, Piccolo surmised; nonetheless, their passion was something to be born and nurtured.

* * *

Months later, Bulma called an apartment’s house phone. A man picked it up, Goten clinging to his leg.

“Oh, yes. I’ll give her the phone,” Basundi replied, patting Goten’s head. His lover, a wonderful woman who loved her son and her ex-husband (in her own way), came close, smiling as she took the phone. Basundi took Goten by the hand to do his homework together; today they were going to get all the way to the 12 table of multiplication.

* * *

Chi-Chi ran with the phone, dialing as fast as she could. It rang. It rang. It rang.

Click.

Chi-Chi took the phone with her as she ran to Goten, telling him that they needed to find his father right away. Goten put down his homework, his face practically splitting with how wide his smile was at the thought of seeing his father before the weekend. The concern on his mother’s face, however, tempered that smile down.

“Mother, what’s wrong?”

“We need to find your pa, Goten!”

Basundi stood up, holding onto Chi-Chi before she fell against the wall in her anxiety-ridden state.

“Is it about him and Uncle?”

Chi-Chi wished that she had had at least one normal child, one child that didn’t start to understand the world so early.

She wished that Bulma would understand that there was nothing that they could do. She looked up at Basundi; she didn’t regret a day of her life to have had Goku and now Basundi in her life.

Did Bulma have regrets?

* * *

This was a nightmare.

Bulma slung insult after insult at him. Goten and Chi-Chi were there to break up the fight before Vegeta could hit Bulma; Goku knew that Vegeta would never hit her, would never hurt her but hurt her, he had, because of Goku.

He never wanted to hurt anybody; Goku just wanted to be at peace with everybody and he didn’t feel sorry that he loved Vegeta, but why was it so bad if Vegeta wasn’t going to be with Bulma anymore? They could do what Chi-Chi and Goku did, share their younger son and show him that even if they didn’t love each other anymore – not like before, anyway – that Chi-Chi, Basundi, and Goku could get along and love him in their own ways.

“Why did you come, Bulma?” Goku asked, his voice coming out much harsher than he had intended. He and Vegeta were having a good time, fighting and playing and hunting. There was no reason for her to come and interrupt the patterns that they were finalizing, now part of each other’s lives; and Vegeta kept giving her his attention, like Goku wasn’t there.

He was shocked to see that Bulma’s face was flushed and angry and sad and lonely. Her scent spoke of anger, fear, and there was something else. Another scent was there, one that he had only smelt twice; once from his own wife, and once from Videl.

For the first time, Goku wished that he had never woken up, watching Bulma cradle the new life inside her belly. Vegeta was silent once Bulma murmured out the words, contemplative.

“Are you sure?”

Bulma nodded. “You had to leave me something, didn’t you? Just like last time with Trunks, but you’re here this time! You cared about me, and you left me!” Her voice was becoming shrill again, something that grated on Goku’s ears.

Vegeta growled, turning to Goku. Those eyes, ire and annoyance swimming in them, changed into a soft charcoal that took in Goku’s face with apprehension.

“Kakarotto?”

Goku looked at Bulma again. She smelt frightened and lonely. Looking back to Vegeta, he saw that Vegeta was worried for the baby, the little baby that really did feel like a Saiyan, just like how Pan had felt. Maybe the baby would be stronger. 

Vegeta held every worry that Chi-Chi had when they had been figuring out when Goku would see his son. That was something, Goku thought, that he could understand for all the knowledge that he lacked.

He left, telling Vegeta that he’d be back in a while. He raised his fingers to his forehead, determined to figure out his new life and what to do about the little life inside of Bulma.

A start for them all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basundi - an Indian milk dessert. MILK PUNS
> 
> Should this have a happy ending or a sad ending?


	6. Hey You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt Day 6: Songfic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey You is sung by Pink Floyd. It's also the song my sister asks me most often to associated with a ship.
> 
> *It's been a while since I've done a songfic like this. I hope you enjoy.

There was nothing around him; he didn’t know where he was. The instant transmission sent him to the first large ki that he had sensed. Goku looked around, wondering how he would find his way around.

The plains of red dirt held no answer for him, no greenery to stain the world with any sign of life. He closed his eyes and remembered one of the moon’s around Beerus’ planet; it was blood red, and he remembered where he was. His eyes closed, he could feel Beerus nearby.

He stared down at him as he fell to his knees, his body getting cold. There was not much of an atmosphere on this little moon, and he was finally rationalizing all that just happened.

Would Vegeta leave him for that little life, that new life inside of Bulma? It was important to Vegeta, that he knew; to have another child was something he had mentioned once. Had Vegeta known about it and left?

He curled over himself, suppressing his ki so that Beerus and Whis couldn’t find him.

He wanted to fall asleep and just dream.

Despair.

‘Make it go away…’

 _Hey you ! out there in the cold_  
Getting lonely, getting old, can you feel me  
Hey you ! Standing in the aisles   
With itchy feet and fading smiles, can you feel me  

Vegeta could not reach out to his lover before Kakarotto disappeared; his heart skipped. Where did he go? Why did he leave? Surely he didn’t believe that Vegeta would leave with Bulma.

He turned to Bulma, who was frozen in shock. He could smell shock roll off of her, nothing malicious. There was the scent of jealousy on her. How could she have predicted this pregnancy? Did she plan it? He asked.

“No… Vegeta, I just need you around for this baby.” Bulma looked down at the ground. “I can’t do the same thing as Trunks… He had you these past years and this baby… This baby needs to know you. I don’t want this one to… to not know their father.”

She looked to Chi-Chi and Goten, watching as her words had the effect that she had been trying to avoid, watching as fingers dug into Goten’s shoulders in a show of protective coddling.

“Uncle, does this mean you and Father won’t be together anymore?” Goten pulled on Vegeta’s hand, his little hand big enough to only hold Vegeta’s last three fingers. “He’s happy when he’s with you.”

Chi-Chi nodded. “Bulma-sa, I’m sure that Vegeta will be around for the baby, but he doesn’t need to be there all the time.” She smiled, continuing, “I got along fine when I was pregnant with Goten, an’ Goku always spends time with him, good quality time.”

Bulma shook her head. “Vegeta, you weren’t around for five years after Son-kun died. You only spent three years with my son. I can’t be his only parent knowing that you’re around and you don’t spend time with him anymore.”

Vegeta did have some guilt over that. The boy was in school, and he always got done with his homework quickly to spend time with his father… Time that Vegeta had spent with Kakarotto since their relationship had started.

“And what do you propose?”

_Hey you ! don't help them to bury the light  
Don't give in without a fight. _

Vegeta greeted his son and Bulma the next day, his stomach heavy with the food that he had made for himself last night. Kakarotto had never come home, and he could not feel his ki. He was alive, surely; Vegeta couldn’t feel him at all, and it set ice down in his blood, making his sleep very restless.

There was no warmth in that house when Kakarotto wasn’t there. There was no sun and there were no dreams. Spending time with his son may put his mind into a more relaxed mood, but it wouldn’t bury his worry completely.

_Hey you ! out there on your own  
sitting naked by the phone; would you touch me ?_

_Hey you ! with your ear against the wall  
Waiting for someone to call out; would you touch me ?_

Over time, he watched his child grow in Bulma’s belly, the flat belly turning soft and eventually expanding, the child getting stronger and kicking against the occasional brush of Vegeta’s hand on its mother’s stomach. This was what the sun would bear witness to.

The moon would witness his pining for a lover that made his way into the realm of dreams and granted Vegeta the reality of a peaceful life.

Gohan would visit him in Mt. Paozu, asking where his father was. Vegeta never had an answer, and the young man stayed to spar, talk, and think of where the younger Saiyan could be.

One day, Bulma woke up and called Vegeta. In the dead of night, daughter of Vegeta, Bra, was born. The infant cried, relaxing when she latched onto her mother’s breast. Vegeta found himself wishing that Kakarotto was there. A new life, and Kakarotto had missed it… Missed a birth again, counting the births of Goten and Marron.

He flew out the window, looking at the moon.

The moon was his Goddess, but where was her mercy? Why wasn’t his mate here with him?

‘Come home.’

_Hey you ! would you help me to carry the stone  
Open your heart, I'm coming home _

‘… home…’

Goku bit his lip. His sleep wasn’t good at all – a dreamless sleep that he hated - and his lungs were burning. How long had he been there, asleep on this little moon?

_‘… Where’s Vegeta?’_

He hadn’t heard that voice in a long time. Black had not emerged after that day when he accepted Level Four, but he was still alive, undying.

‘ _Vegeta… I want Vegeta…’_

Why was he suffocating on a moon, when his Vegeta was so far away from him?

_‘Should we kill her?’_

Goku shook his head as he thought of her first friend. Her fiery soul wasn’t without heart and humanity; it was the beauty that she had. She wanted what was best for her family, had tried to encourage that her baby’s father was in the baby’s life… Maybe she knew that Goten and Goku himself weren’t as close as he and Gohan were and wanted to stop that from happening with this new baby and Vegeta.

_‘Why was I scared?’_

He didn’t want Vegeta to leave him. He never wanted to be afraid of his dreams again, not of his dream-like life where he was loved and cared for, a precious gift that the Prince had stumbled upon and brought out a precious jewel from.

_‘A beautiful God.’_

Goku tried to lift himself up from the surface of the moon. His ki was low enough that he knew that no one could sense him.

_‘… It’s my fault.’_

Weak and tired, he raised his fingers to his forehead.

 _But it was only a fantasy_  
The wall was too high as you can see   
No matter how he tried he could not break free   
And the worms ate into his brain. 

“Have a safe trip, Goku-san.” Goku shifted at the voice.

“W…” What happened to his voice?

“You’re quite lucky that this moon has very little atmosphere, or else you would have rotted away,” the angel chuckled. “I’m still surprised that you felt Beerus-sama’s ki from so far away; your aim was a bit off, though.”

Goku smiled. He closed his eyes…

‘I want to fall asleep again.’

He disappeared.

 _Hey you ! out there on the road_  
Always doing what you're told, can you help me  
Hey you ! out there beyond the wall   
Breaking bottles in the hall, can you help me 

Vegeta cried out as something fell on him. It was soft, had almost no energy.

“Kakarotto!”

He rushed back into the medical building, carrying his lover who was thin and weak and why was his breathing so shallow and slow?

Medical doctors took him out of Vegeta’s arm, and he found himself held back by Gohan and Kuririn.

Hours passed, with Vegeta spending that time with Bra and Bulma to keep himself occupied and out of the way of the medical professionals that were caring for his lover.

_Hey you ! don't tell me there's no hope at all_

Hours passed, and Vegeta finally saw his mate after months of worry and of bad dreams.

Days passed, and Vegeta threatened the doctors and nurses with death should they try to have him removed from the room.

Those hauntingly slow minutes crept by, a mockery of his love. The moon mocked him, trying to validate its denial of his prayers with a beautiful, full face.

On the seventh day, Saturday, at 1:11 AM, Vegeta fell asleep…

Had his Goddess ever heard him?

_Together we stand, divided we fall._

On Saturday, at 1:12 AM, Goku woke up. He looked around the room at the machines that were hooked up to him. He found himself unafraid of anything, even the accesses in his arms.

“Hmm…”

He looked to the noise and he smiled down at Vegeta. It’d been too long.

“Hey, you.” _  
_

Vegeta smiled in his sleep.


	7. Ballad of Earth and Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt Day 7: Free Choice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while since I wrote a ballad. I hope you enjoy my final addition.
> 
> Glossary:  
> Chaos: Destruction and Disorder  
> Heaven's Symphony: The music of the spheres, which is an ancient philosophical concept that regards proportions in the movements of celestial bodies as being to rhythm.  
> Cosmos: Creation and Order  
> Achlys: Daimona of Sadness and Misery, sibling to Oneiro, God of Dreams. She is said to have existed before Chaos.  
> Hel: (Norse) Helheim is the location where the dead go. Warriors go to Valhalla. The individual named Hel is the Goddess that rules Helheim; with a blue appearance, along with the color of flesh, she receives the dead.  
> Selena: Goddess of the Moon

The Heaven and the Earth did not meet  
Until there was lightning between them  
Through the air they did attempt to eat  
Each other whole, their pride with no end

And when the Heavens crushed the Earth  
The Earth fell in love, with its scent  
Of blood and hunger; it gave a laugh of mirth  
As the spirit was not the Earth; it was Heaven-sent

And it took the might of Heaven for it to learn  
And in the Heavens’ Symphony, our Heaven did fall  
A Chaos destroying what for Cosmos ‘Earth’ did burn  
‘Earth’ destroyed Chaos, avenging Heaven and all

When ‘Earth’ returned, the Heaven did shriek  
Cosmos lived in ‘Earth’ and did keep  
Of what power the ‘Earth’ had, t’was not weak  
Before they fought again, an Angel did weep

An Angel, born of Heaven, did come to warn  
For Cosmos lived in him, the last of their kind  
Last Heaven-sent of a different time, scorned,  
By Heaven, embraced by ‘Earth’ to find

And destroy another Chaos, one yet many,  
‘Earth’ and Heaven separated for three thousand years  
Years in which the Last Heaven-sent became Progeny  
And ‘Earth’ gave to its blood, for sustenance, tears

The ‘Earth’ was victim to plague, unbelieving, it’d say  
That its future was destined for despair; and Heaven came  
In glory, sadomasochistic, it cast ‘Earth’ away  
Burning and bringing Hell in glory of his name

Last Heaven-sent and the ‘Earth’s’ own  
Followed their fathers into battle  
Cured, the ‘Earth’ trained his own son alone  
While Heaven-Hell ignored warnings, left his son rattled

As One-Yet-Many Chaos became Perfection  
Heaven defeated, and his son as well  
All save the ‘Earth’ stood in abjection  
While ‘Earth’ finally accepted his own Hell

Perfection had many children, and death to them all,  
As ‘Earth’s’ perfect Son stepped forward, in awe  
As Perfection’s children threatened the Earth  
Anger consumed him, left Perfection in his maw

Perfection, aghast, captured Creation in his grasp  
And the ‘Earth’ realized that he was not ‘Earth’  
An Achlys on a plane of existence, an asp  
He bid all farewell, leaving only of his love a dearth

His perfect Son wept, the dearth a dearth  
As a new Son wept, not knowing Emptiness  
Heaven stood still, an Eclipse’s birth,  
Enrapturing him for seven hundred years in duress

Achlys, fearful of dreams, dreamt in death  
Of a Heaven that loved him so  
For seven hundred years, he gave no breath  
As he could not walk the Earth down below

A miraculous meeting, between Hel and Achlys,  
A world where Chaos came again  
After the battle, both gained more and less,  
For the dreams were still real, yet plain

Achlys turned to Hel, only taking glances  
Waiting for Hel to deny him  
Yet Hel waited and yearned for the other’s advances  
And the distance between them was growing thin

Destruction came and gave them power  
The First Chaos came, Death came, Achlys’ anger  
Came and brought Hel back to Heaven’s hour  
Leaving all of Heaven’s love to clangor

Meeting the Mirror of Achlys tested them both  
As their Loving Mirror wished for Chaos to reign  
And its defeat, consumption by Achlys’ troth  
And Heaven’s tenacity made their loves grow again

Selena smiled upon her children, Achlys and Heaven  
And from her blessed love, their love reached its head  
Achlys and Heaven, Death and Hope, joined and then  
They fell into sweet dreams, together in bed

Of two that are close, these are the sweetest  
Nothing more, nothing less; this song, testament of the swain  
Achlys, who is of Earth, love to Heaven-Hell elitist  
E’en at the End of the World, they’d ne’er be alone again

**Author's Note:**

> Biggest Fear: Oneirophobia - Fear of Dreams
> 
> Again, going through some issues. Thinking about my life and my choices. ::hugs to all:: I like Goku as a happy character, but when he realizes that his choices and actions have consequences, he sets to resolve these quickly and he learns from it. 
> 
> I'm going to have long character analyses of these interpretations on my tumblr, probably.
> 
> (The hint to the end is in the title.)


End file.
